If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
