Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
