I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
