I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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