Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
