Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?

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  (586): Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand. (1-586): What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive? http://tfl.nu/qfk1
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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  (815): Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night http://tfl.nu/n9gx
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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  (720): how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot? http://tfl.nu/rnjj
  Replies (17) Good night (597) Bad night (2924) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

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  (479): I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous. http://tfl.nu/e117
  Replies (14) Good night (4521) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks

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  (734): dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks http://tfl.nu/2ro0
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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  (812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju
  Replies (98) Good night (3633) Bad night (8917)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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  (503): iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane. http://tfl.nu/zl9e
  Replies (18) Good night (6366) Bad night (993)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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  (253): Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/6zni
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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  (802): My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary". http://tfl.nu/h26g
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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  (717): We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt. http://tfl.nu/sjgj
  Replies (11) Good night (1860) Bad night (828)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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  (304): I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud. http://tfl.nu/1ldm
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

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  (303): Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious. http://tfl.nu/zbxr
  Replies (7) Good night (1355) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

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  (605): If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again. http://tfl.nu/3u7r
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (508)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

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  (248): I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch http://tfl.nu/n34v
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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