We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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