I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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