I hate all girls vehemently.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize