Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
