Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
