no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
