Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
