Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
