Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
