I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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