I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize