how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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