I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will be naked everywhere
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
