Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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