the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
