im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
