READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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