You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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