just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
