with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
