I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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