My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
