I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
