And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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