You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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