I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
