I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
