office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fuck your aforementioned shoe
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
