Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
