He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
