my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i love accidental penises.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
