Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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