The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
