lets start a swedish sibling band together
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
