I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
