Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
