508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
