My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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