I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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