she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
