He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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