My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
