he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I need water and some morals
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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