porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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