I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
