I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize