Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
