ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
