The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
