omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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