Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
