I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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