She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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