evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
