A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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