So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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