? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
