So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
