Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize