oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
