What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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