I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
